How often have you ever felt hurt, wronged, cheated, or deceived? Maybe you were even abused, falsely accused, or bullied. Hurt people, hurt people. Broken people, break people, and people who have had their joy taken away are snatching joy from everyone they come in contact with. Unfortunately, people can be cruel, and it is perfectly reasonable to experience pain and needing help to get through any and all trials.

Unfortunately, for me, marriage has been a severe trial. I have learned that marriage is what you make it. It can be really blissful, joyful, and exhilarating, or it can be challenging and frustrating. For several years, my husband and I have been struggling in our marriage. And to be completely transparent, we still struggle currently. The first five years of marriage have been very tough. We were both ill-prepared for a life together. Throughout this tumultuous time, we attended one counseling session, which he purposefully sabotaged because he didn’t want to be there. I sought advice from married couples, collectively and individually, attended marriage conferences alone and read books.

My expectation was that if I did all of these things, he would come around and be different. Well low and behold, what I did discover throughout this journey is; I can only change me. I can’t change my husband. I’ve also found that I need to truly forgive my husband. It sounds so simple, right? You’re right, sometimes the Bible is just that simple but hard at the same time.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37, NKJV) 

Allow me to share some practical steps to the concept of forgiveness, that I’m learning. Here are three steps to true forgiveness:

1 The Act of Forgiveness is the first step. It sounds like this: “Lord, I am choosing to forgive “so & so” for the pain they’ve caused me, and I release it to you now in the name of Jesus.” 

2 The Process of Forgiveness continues; its step one repeated seven times seventy. You forgive again and again and again and again (well, you get the picture) until……

3 When you reach the State of Forgiveness, you come to a place where you’re able to think about the offenses, the disrespect, the abuse, and the pain is gone.

I pray that you will be able to start or continue the forgiveness process today. It’s liberating. You may not be able to change people. You can definitely be empowered by letting go and letting God continue to do a mighty work and change in you!

Forgiveness is not freeing others from their sins; it frees you. 

Be Blessed, you’re a miracle!